Frequently Asked Questions and Odd Comments From a Mother of Twins Point of View

Being out and about with the girls, we attract a lot of attention. Maybe it's the enormous stroller that I push around and try to get through doors, maybe it's just having a baby out in public, but just about every single person that I encounter has something to say. When the girls first came home, Will and I would walk them around the neighborhood, dying for someone to come over and gawk at our beautiful daughters. Now, it's a regular part of my life.

Here are some of the questions/comments that I get and my reaction (and sometimes the answer that I'd like to have).

The Top Three

1. "Are those twins?"

"Yes." No, they're not twins. I just have two small babies that are the same age. I thought I'd take on the neighbor's kid and buy this giant stroller and push them around this store and dress the child in a similar outfit to my own child's.

2. Is it a boy and a girl?

"No, two girls." How many parents do you really know who dress their sons in pink and put bows in their hair?

3. How old are they?

My answer: Ok, I lie here. I tell everyone that they are 3 months. Which they are, adjusted. Honestly, it's just easier then telling the truth. I tried telling the truth to exactly two strangers, and here's how it went:

Them: How old are they?

Me: Five months

Them: Oh, wow. They're so little (pause to stare at me for a reaction).

Me:Yes, they're little. They were preemies.

Them: Oh, how early were they?

Me: Three months.

Them: Oh my gosh! That's REALLY early!!!

Me: Yep.

Them: How big were they?

Me: About two pounds. (aargh)

Them: That's SO small! But, they look so healthy.

Me: Yes, they are... thanks...

Them: Look quizically at me, then proceed to tell story about their sister's friend's cousin's girlfriend who had two-pound preemies.

Me: Smile and nod and try to pay for purchase.

Two instances of this was plenty to get me to start telling their adjusted age. Obviously, when we run into people we know from school, church or our neighbors we tell the actual age, as most of them all know our story anyway. So unless someone really wants to hear about the trials and tribulations of having babies in the NICU for 75 days, I would really rather not discuss this.

Other Common Questions and Comments

"Wow! Twins! You must have your hands full."

"Indeed." You think? Would you like to come over and help me change diapers and do some laundry? No? How about grabbing the door for me so I can push this battering ram of a stroller out the two sets of doors?

"Do they cry at the same time?"

"Yes, often they do." Yes, it's a challenge.

"Wow! You're so brave to get out of the house."

"Yes, well, you can't stay in the house all day every day." Seriously, it's not about bravery, it's about sanity. I cannot just sit in the living room all day every day and watch television while feeding my babies.

Also on the bravery front, "You're so brave to have twins."
Um, I didn't really have a choice in the matter.

"Aren't you supposed to be home sleeping?"

Um... no...

Questions and Comments from Strangers (sometimes acquaintances) that Usually Get Only Baffled Looks

"Are you nursing? How do you do it? Do you feed both babies at the same time?"

This one I got from a complete stranger and it had motions to go along with the question... I don't understand why everyone wants to know about what my babies are eating.

"It must be nice being on vacation."

Seriously? By the way, it was a single guy who said this to me. Obviously.

"How was the childbirth? Did you have a c-section?"

WHY would a stranger want to know that?!?

A follow-up to the c-section question: "Do you have trouble with gas?"

Huh? What kind of question is that?

One of my personal favorites came when the girls were in the NICU: "Wow! Look at those girls, they're little, but fully formed."
Thank heavens that I didn't give birth to kids that were missing limbs or major body parts!

Then, there's the overwhelming amount of unsolicited advice. Sorry folks, I'm not sure that I want advice from a woman whose sons are running around Subway screaming and hitting each other.

Some days when I'm just not in the mood, I try not to make eye contact with people (this is usually pretty ineffective in stopping questions anyway). However, on the days when I've been sitting in the living room and had no contact with the outside world and feeling bored and lonely, this is a great way to get "insta-friends" out on the street. Truth be told, I love having the girls out and about and sometimes look for excuses to get them out of the house.