Day #4 - Rejoicing

I am finally beginning to really "get it." I've known in my head all along that we've got two babies on the way, but I think it's actually starting to sink in now. Having twins is such an incredible blessing and I have no idea how we got to have this amazing opportunity. I know all kinds of people who hope and pray for twins. I would have never even thought to hope or pray for twins, especially identical twins. Neither of us ever considered that we might have the chance to parent twins before that first ultrasound. All of a sudden, today, I was completely blown away by this idea and I give great thanks for our twins-to-be. It's scary thinking about actually having these two at home but I cannot imagine a greater thrill either.

Since finding out that we were pregnant in November, this is the first time that I've felt like I'm actually able to rejoice in what is to come. For the entire first trimester I worried about miscarriage, then we had about 4 weeks of pure joy, imagining the future for these babies. At about 18 weeks, our diagnosis came, and the worry that accompanied it was no match for those first trimester jitters. In the last few weeks, as this inpatient time came closer, Will and I each let ourselves get more and more hopeful. But not until today was I really able to say with confidence that these babies are coming home. As I lay here all day listening to the beautiful sound of our babies' heartbeats I am filled with joy. A huge weight has finally been lifted off of my shoulders and I'm no longer carrying the 700-pound gorilla of 50/50 odds of these babies making it. It's going to be a long road, but I'm finally letting myself rejoice without prefacing everything with "if everything goes okay." I'm ordering the nursery furniture tomorrow, complete with two cribs.

(Two cribs from flikr, taken by tigermatt)