The Passage of Time

Time is a funny thing. On a Monday morning, the week seems eternally long but then by Friday, I always wonder where the week went. Similarly, in September, I look at the calendar for the school year, plotting a meeting in January, a field trip in May, thinking that it will never actually come. All of a sudden, it's the middle of May and we're left with only 23 days of school (not that anyone's counting). Yesterday was Grace and Hope's one month birthday. Where did that come from? As we chatted tonight with the NICU nurses, I couldn't help but think about this last month. Looking back, it appears to have gone fast. At the same time, I considered Grace's surgery, which is just shy of two weeks ago. It might as well have been two months. Days seem like years in NICU time.

Small picture wise, we're still struggling to cope with how long everything seems to be taking. I know that the girls have to take baby steps (or should I say preemie baby steps), but it's a challenge for Mom and Dad to see the progress in day-by-day mode. It is for any parent though, isn't it? All of a sudden, you realize your child has grown several inches over the school year and you didn't even really notice it. It's hard to watch, too, as countless babies have come and gone in the time that we've been there. In the past week alone, we've seen at least five new arrivals, and four departures.

In the big picture, the girls have made quite a bit of progress. Our Gracie is approaching the three pound mark, catching up with her sister who has apparently decided to go on a diet and lose a few ounces. Grace is up to 15 milliliters of milk per feeding. Three mL is approximately .5 ounces, three teaspoons, or one tablespoon. That means, for eight feedings per day, she is eating nearly 1/2 cup, equivalent to a serving of ice cream (as if anyone actually eats only one serving of ice cream...). Hope is at about half of that amount, or 1/4 cup per day, which is four whopping tablespoons, which is about how much milk I put in my morning coffee. It's pretty incredible to think about the amount of time it has taken them to reach this point!

As I work on the nursery that Will keeps reminding me I have a long time to get together, I feel the urge to try to get it finished (no small task for an expert procrastinator, mind you). I just know that the girls will be home before we can blink, but why then is it taking so long to get here?

A day later... a microcosm of life in the NICU (and life with the Pipers for that matter)

Saturday morning started off rough. Hope had another "major alarm" Friday evening which required her to be "bagged." Neither Jeni nor I slept well from the events from the day before, and we both took this news hard and began to panic. We went to the hospital early in the day and spent time with both girls. Our nurses said they were doing fine, but we wanted to see the girls for ourselves.

Saturday was the day of Jeni's shower. My mom's close friend and her daughter (who incidentally is marrying one of my best friends) wanted to do something nice for Jeni and offered to throw her a shower. They decided to do this back in December, back in the days when we thought that there was only one baby who would not arrive until sometime in July. Well, little did anyone know back then that there were in fact two babies, and those babies were monoamniotic twins, and Jeni would require in-patient stay in the hospital before these twins were born, and that the babies would come earlier than anyone expected, and that they would be in the NICU at the time of the shower and have a rough day yesterday, leaving us overly worried to kick off our Saturday and the day of Jeni's shower at that. Ugggg! Needless to say, however, despite the shower, Jeni's mind was busy reeling about the status of Baby Hope.

Meanwhile, back on the home front, I was doing the household chores while Jeni's father attempted, for the second Saturday in a row, to install a ceiling fan and light fixture in the nursery. This project threw a few curve balls to my father-in-law, but by the end of the day, the ceiling fan was installed and working just fine. The whole experience reminded me of a somewhat slow moving episode of Home Improvement, with my father-in-law playing the role of Tool Time Tim, and me playing the role of Wilson- a guy who can talk a little here and there, but really is out of his element when it comes to home repairs. Being physically dexterous and handy are not gifts I was given, so I am very grateful that my father-in-law knew how to do this task (although I do feel bad that what we thought would be a 2 hour project led to two weekends of considerable work and countless trips in and out of our filthy attic).

We all ended up going to the hospital again at the end of the day to see the girls. I arrived first and got to hold Hope for 20 minutes. Despite having her feedings decreased and even stopped for a while, she had a relatively calm day, and I was able to hold her, her wide eyes looking up at daddy as she made some cute little noises and opened her mouth periodically to yawn and stick out her tongue. She did well with the hold, and was on room air for 15 of the 20 minutes. This was so awesome. While holding Hope I asked her very nicely to please not "act up" this evening and told her how much I loved her. Our doctor was on call and he explained that these "bagging" issues are indeed typical, and something that we will see happen from time to time. Our doctor assured us that Hope's lungs sounded fine to him and that her color was good, and that she didn't have as bad of a Friday as we perceived her having. He mentioned nothing about the possibility of the ductus being open again- so I think "The Ductus Strikes Back" is on hold, at least for now.

Jeni and I said goodbye to her folks, called my folks to give them the update, and then went out for pizza. We returned home and almost immediately fell asleep, completely emotionally drained and exhausted. It was perhaps the first time since middle school that I had not made it past 10:00 p.m. on a weekend night, but, feeling so drained, it was just what we needed.

Sunday morning: We overslept going to the 8:00 church service as we forgot to set any alarms being exhausted from the day before. The first thing we do is reach for the phone to call the NICU. Nurse Rosie had Grace and told us she had a great night- no alarms and her feedings are up to 13 ccs (get this girl a membership in the clean plate club). When we hold Grace later today she will be placed, for the first time ever, on the nasal cannula. This is a step in the right direction for her for sure. As for Hope, she had no alarms in the night! I can tell already that she listens well to her daddy. Her feedings are decreased, and she's still having residuals, but less than what she had the day before and no green goo. Perhaps she just needs a little rest. Before we hung up, Nurse Rosie garabbed the phone to wish Jeni a happy Mother's Day from Gracie and Hope. Jeni beamed from ear to ear. This little act of kindness already has made our day, and as I wrap this post up, all I can think of is "here we go again." Wishing everyone who reads this today a very happy Mother's Day.

Increasing Feedings and Diaper Drama

Hope and Grace had another good day today. For some reason, it seems like the girls are making huge digestive strides in a short amount of time. They both are up to 5 ccs of breast milk. Now, this sounds like barely a sip for you or I, but is 5 times larger than their 1 cc feeding last Friday. They had minimum to no residuals today and are likely to see their feedings increased once again. You go girls!

We arrived at the hospital this evening early enough to do both girls' cares. I changed Hope who had a rather uneventful diaper, dropping my poopy diaper batting average to 1/9 or .111. Jeni, on the other hand, chose to change Gracie. Gracie started off a little fussy for her cares, and it didn't take Mom and Dad long to figure out why. Gracie produced her first "two-diaper-wonder". While Dad found this extremely amusing, Mom didn't find it quite as funny. I am sure that my time will come soon enough.

Jeni had the pleasure of holding Hope this afternoon, and I got day 3 in a row with Gracie. She and her daddy are bonding and she got to wear her pink hat again today.

While we know that there will be more bumps in the road ahead of us, we both rejoice in the fact that the girls are on a hot streak right now (now if only the Brewers can turn things around :) ). We are so incredibly blessed to have so many people praying for us and supporting us and our daughters. Thank you all for reading and following our story and thank you all for your support.