Some Good News...

I've got parent-teacher conferences coming up next week, and today I learned how valuable the phrase "keep up the good work" can be. I have said this countless times to parents and students, acknowledging the good job they've been doing. It never really hit me as to how meaningful this phrase could be until today.

This afternoon we had our third ultra-sound appointment as parents of "momo twins." I was at a funeral visitation before hand and arrived a little after the ultra sound had begun. As I entered the room, I was praying for good news, as the funeral visitation was quite sad (a classmate of mine from USM died in a bike accident... he was only 29). The nurses immediately greeted me warmly announcing that both babies gained 5 oz. in the past two weeks. Whoo hoo! Way to go momos! On top of that, we learned that there is no longer as much of a concern about the threat of twin-to-twin-transfusion syndrome. This was a big relief. The perinatologist started talking about when Jeni would be starting her inpatient stay- he recommended between 25-26 weeks. As usual, Jeni and I asked not to be told the sex of the babies, to which the doctor replied, "you'll see that enough when you're changing all those diapers." Did I happen to detect a bit of bedside humor here?

What a refreshing change from our first appointment when we were diagnosed with the momos and the grim statistics that came along with that diagnosis.

As I am writing this, I can't help but focus energy on the obvious... people are becoming increasingly positive about this pregnancy. We are not out of the woods yet, and it will be a long 4 weeks before we get Jeni to in-patient care, but, there just seems to be a hint of more optimism in the air today- from doctors, friends, and most of all, us. Perhaps the sunshine played a factor, or the hibiscus tree in our living room blooming two flowers this morning, or, maybe it was the fact that spring is coming, as evidenced by the arrival of the McDonald's Shamrock Shake, or did the Brewers pre-season victory over the A's have something to do with sending good karma our way? Who knows?

Instead of leaving the ultrasound room pitted out with Kleenex in hand wiping away tears of anxiety, today I left with a grin. It is hard not to laugh when one baby steps on the other's cord, causing the ultrasound technician to recalculate her data. This scene happened a few times, causing the nurse and even the ultrasound technician to laugh as well. Could it be that one or both of these twins is beginning to exhibit their father's goofy sense of humor and love for playing pranks?

To continue my Legend of Zelda analogy from my last post, I think we beat a new boss today and are on to the next part of our quest. This, however, is just one step in an increasingly long journey to go.

We are eternally grateful and blessed to be surrounded by so many people who are keeping us in their thoughts and prayers. It is almost overwhelming at times to think about! Thanks so much for all of you out there who are reading this. Now, on to the next level.

The Legend of the Momos

This week in class, students wrote poems about specific moments in time that were meaningful to them. This assignment is a proven winner with kids, and this year's crop of poems didn't disappoint. One young man wrote a poem about beating a Mario game, and I guess that got me thinking about how this monoamniotic pregnancy is beginning to remind me more and more of playing The Legend of Zelda.

Please allow me to digress for a minute, and take you back to the days of "William," the studious, fun-loving, worrying, baseball-obsessed 10 year old in 1987. I remember this summer too well... the smell of salty peanut shells wafting from beneath my seat at County Stadium, the scorching July heat pounding down on the tar driveway as we lit "snake" fireworks and smoke bombs with my uncles, the dusty Water Tower Park Little League diamond, and, the gold-plated rectangular video game, known as "The Legend of Zelda."

That was the summer that I practically lived with the Zieglers. It seemed like just about every day I would get together with Chad (who was a year older), Ryan (a year younger) and Erin (who was my age... and incidentally my first crush), and play. We'd go swimming, ride bikes, play “home run derby,” cranking tennis balls over the backyard neighbor's fence, and then, when it got dark, play Zelda. The Zieglers’ step-dad, a man who I called "Uncle Jack" worked at Miller 2nd shift and would come home later at night to see the four of us camped around their living room tv with hand drawn maps, half-eaten bags of chips and Pepsi cans, cheering each other on as we looked for special bows and arrows and did battle with ogres, monsters and other fanciful creatures who were part of the game. This became almost a daily ritual that summer, with "Uncle Jack" joining in the action, contributing to our quest after we were fast asleep.

As the summer came to a close, I remember a sweltering, humid day that Chad, who was by far the best at the game, ended up finally beating Ganon, the evil wizard, and rescuing the princess, only for the game to default into “The Second Quest” (where we would have to replay the game with different secrets and harder bosses). Would this game ever end??? Instead of some sort of virtual trophy popping out of the mouth of the 8 bit Nintendo Entertainment System, we instead were faced with having to replay the whole game. Ahhhh! We finally ended up beating that quest too, although it spanned into the start of the school year.

Now, you may ask, how does all this relate to our pregnancy? As we enter our third ultra sound with those oh, so lovely words, “high risk” stamped onto our file, I can’t help but compare our own journey to that of Link, the protagonist in the Legend of Zelda games. Once we overcome one obstacle, another three await. Once we beat those, we have to find another secret weapon, confront another boss, etc., etc., etc.

I can’t deny that this whole process is becoming increasingly taxing as the days turn into weeks, but, on the same token it is becoming increasingly exciting- as we are about a month out from when Jeni would go in-patient. From there, we have the NICU, and finally, when this whole thing is over, the best case scenario is that we bring home two lovely babies who we can worry about some more.

I mentioned to a close friend recently, “If only we can bring these babies home, then everything would be fine.” The friend commented, “No, Will. As soon as you bring the babies home, you will have something new to worry about. Welcome to being a parent.”

Nowadays, “Will,” the hard-working, good-humored, worrying, still baseball-obsessed 30 year old in 2008, can only hope and pray that we continue to beat the little bosses along the way and “beat” this game. I guess the quest never really ends, does it?

A Kick to the Face!

Last night before Jeni and I went to bed, I became increasingly worried about whether or not Jeni was feeling the babies. Let's face it, I am a worrier by nature, and the new phrase de jour in the Piper household is "are you feeling them?" Jeni, sympathetic to my worrying, but also in need of some sleep for her upcoming school day suggested that I listen to her stomach. I placed my head down on her tummy to see if I could get a little audio of what is going on in there, when it hit me... "WHAM!" a kick right to the side of my face. I have never been happier or more blessed to h be kicked in the face in my life! It was by far my "wow" moment of the weekend. What started off as flutters a week or so ago has progressed into tiny pokes and prods. An email from Jeni today, simply stating, "we're squirmy" also made me smile. It is fun to feel them kicking around.

(this photo, like all photos on this blog, is taken from the Flickr creative commons).

The Start of Spring Training

Those of you who know me well, know that there are few things I'm more passionate about than the Milwaukee Brewers. I'll admit it, on a public forum no less, that I got misty eyed last year when the Brewers got eliminated from post season play. I was so pulling for them. In my desk drawer are the unused tickets from the NL division and championship games that I was able to procure. I remember attending the last game of the season with my buddy Bloom and staying until the final out, leaving with a sense of sadness that our run at post-season glory was over. When I arrived home, Jeni greeted me with a hug saying, "It's ok. You'll get 'em next year." She thinks it is pretty silly how into the Brewers I get, but nevertheless is supportive.

So, as spring training opens today I went online and started mydaily ritual of reading up about the team on the Milwaukee Brewers website. As I was looking at the schedule, it hit me... many of the important dates in our pregnancy correspond to important events in the baseball season.

Our next ultra sound appointment: February 28h
(Brewers preseason opener against Oakland)

Jeni going into inpatient care (if all goes well at 26 weeks)
(The Brewers open their season against division rival, and the team that I despise more than any other, The Chicago Cubs)

I wish I could be as hopeful about all aspects of life as I am about baseball. I will say without batting an eyelash that I truly think the Brewers will make it to the post season this year. I have a good feeling. I also have a good feeling that, when they do, two beautiful twins will be by my side in their Brewers onsies taking it all in with their dad. We just have to get through spring training.

Valentines Day Dr. Appointment

Dr. Appointment February 14^th.

I had to take a lap up and down Good Hope road because I was too shaky to really drive all that well…

Today’s doctor’s appointment was much more positive than the last. Perhaps it was because I was prepared for the news… perhaps it was because today we were treated with a much more human touch.

The verdict: We have monoamniotic twins. There is no membrane between them (as was evidenced by us watching Baby A kick Baby B, or was it Baby B kicking Baby A???) and as the perinatologist confirmed. Ok. Their cords are tangled (how can they not be when you think about it and watch them literally swimming around on the ultra sound). They have good working hearts, good vital organs and, as the ultrasound technician stated, are “beautiful.” They are living in the same bubble, and, of course, that fact poses the highest risk right there. Then there is the worry of twin to twin transfusion… which could be a challenge too, as one is larger than the other (12 oz. for Baby B and 9 oz. for Baby A). We don’t know this yet, and will have to wait and see… being 19+ weeks, they said that they really can’t tell much about TTTS at this point. Good news, there is a renowned doctor at St. Joe’s who is considered a leading specialist on this nationwide. So, we’re in good hands.

Speaking of good hands, I throw mine up. Watching these babies flop around inside of Jeni for over an hour as the technician took many photos of them really made this point sink in… I AM NOT IN CONTROL. Jeni is not in control. There is nothing either of us or any of the doctors can do right now to keep these babies from getting tangled up. We can hope, pray and stay positive. Folks that know me well that are reading this know that I like to be in control and that acknowledging that there is absolutely nothing I can do to protect these twins any more is very hard for me. I do have control, however, in taking delight in each day.

Today I experienced joy… parental joy that is. The babies were moving around rapidly inside of Jeni and the technician was having a hard time getting the pictures she wanted because of their rapid movement and squirmy nature. She commented on how they were being challenging, and the first thought that entered my head was “give ‘er hell.” I snickered when she finally was able to coax one of them to flip by maneuvering the metal things that they use of the ultrasound. Watching them open and close their hands was a wow. Watching their hearts beat was a wow! Let’s face it, these babies are a wow, and, perhaps tonight I will sleep better simply rejoicing in that.

Welcome Back to Work

When I returned to work today, one of my students left on my computer a quote by Mohandas Gandhi. She was very interested in Gandhi from when I taught about him a few months ago as part of our unit on India and South Asia. Little did this student know that that simple act of kindness, and Gandhi's simple advice, is what I'm holding onto right now.

Thoughts to Live By- Mohandas Gandhi
Keep your thoughts positive
Thoughts become your words

Keep your words positive
Words become your behaviors

Keep you behaviors positive
Behaviors become your habits

Keep your habits positive
Habits become your values

Keep you values positive
Values become your destiny.

This whole situation with the twins is out of our control. What is in our control is our attitude and our ability to be positive throughout this process. While this is hard, it is what we can do.

Welcome to Life with the Pipers

Thanks for checking out our blog. This blog is designed to be a place to talk about our life right now and also share some fun antidotes.

Why "Life with the Pipers?" Why Now?
My favorite song from last year was a track called, "Our Life is Not a Movie Or Maybe" by Okkervil River. Check out the link to hear it streaming off the band's website. Well, anyway, I feel like our life right now is like a movie, and that it might be interesting (and somewhat therapeutic for us) to share a little about it in this forum.

On Wednesday evening I was informed by my wife Jeni that a blood test taken several weeks earlier came us suspecting that we were at a higher risk of having a child with spina bifida. We were shocked, and needless to say, spent a sleepless night worrying. We then went to get the ultrasound on Friday. My heart felt like it sunk down to my shoes looking at Jeni's intake slip that read, "High Risk." This is my healthy, beautiful wife- how could we be "high risk?" After waiting the obligatory 45 minutes for any sort of doctor appointment, that we have now become accustomed to, we went in and got the ultrasound.

The doctor informed us, almost immediately, that we were having twins. In a monotone voice, that would put Ben Stein to shame, he exclaimed emotionless, "I'm glad you're laying down... you have twins." Tears of joy were shed. How cool is that? We go in thinking spinal problems and now we will be having two babies! This joy was short lived, however, as we then heard him say, and this I will quote, "I have a great concern... but I will tell you about it when I'm done." For the next 20 minutes this doctor sat and clicked on a computer labeling organs on our babies and making the machine beep, much like a smoke detector in need of a new battery. He never even asked our names. Now, I am no medical professional, but I do know a thing or two about tact, and this just wasn't the way I would want news like this broken.

As it turned out, we were diagnosed with monoamniotic twins. I had never heard of this condition. In plain English, this means that the babies are suspected of sharing the same amniotic sac, and have a very high risk of having their cords intertwined and compacted.

Now, for the real scary part... there is about a 50% chance if these babies are indeed monoamniotic twins that they won't make it. We will need to make lots of trips to the doctor from now on, and if the babies are ok by the 28th week of pregnancy, Jeni will most likely be hospitalized for the duration so the twins can be closely monitored. Our regular OBGYN doctor said this would be the best case scenario.

We are 18 weeks in as it is, so this makes the countdown to baseball opening day to take on a whole different meaning.

This experience so far has been the hardest thing I've had to deal with in my life. I am left without having any sort of control over the situation. We don't have answers. We don't have a plan. We don't know the ending to this story. What we do know is that we have love for each other. We have love for these babies. And, above all else, we have Faith that this will all turn out as it is planned. So, for the time being, we are hoping to share this story with you. I am praying for a happy ending, and a celebration like none other when these babies are taken home. Jeni's mother's intuition says several times a day that they will be fine and this will end well. I have no choice but to trust her, pray hard, and see how this adventure will unfold. Welcome to "Life With the Pipers."